The Uniqueness in Me

 Remember 'the black spot on the white paper' experiment? It is not leaving my mind today. I'm not sure why. I thought hard, but I couldn't decide whether it was because someone refused to see me as a contributor to society and was stuck with the idea of my limitation or because my ability was under valued many times. The spot never really bothered me as a child. Actually, I don't remember when it started bothering me. Maybe ten years ago, when I thought I can outperform the others and make people see me as the person that am, not as the girl on the wheelchair...  I thought I could change things. It seemed to work initially. I thought I'd succeeded. I thought I'd washed of the spot, but it reappeared. This time, even an excellent performance couldn't wash it away. One of my flaws has been that I'm quick to generalize. Usually, my family helps me see the brighter side. This time too, I was hoping my generalization was wrong. Sadly, it wasn't.  I c...

Dear Doctor, I hope you’re doing well. We seldom remember to ask about your well being. Thank you for taking up the responsibility of our health during the pandemic. The panic attached to it, made us unmindful of the sacrifices you make to give us a healthier life. I wonder how you endure the sleepless nights caring for strangers and the risk of exposure to constant danger with insufficient protective gear.                                                                         Despite your unconditional service to humanity, our expectations never end. We often forget that our responsibilities are mutual towards each other. Though the change in attitude will take some time, I’d like to start by saying thank you. Thank you for continuing to care for us tirelessly🤗

 I take a walk through unfamiliarity everyday, fearing the unknown. I step ahead carefully to ensure I don't damage anything around. However, I'm always damaging, yet always surprised. Perhaps, that's the only way to learn. But what's the point of this lesson if I'm not coming back to this path again?   I don't remember walking any path twice.  Maybe I did, but I just can't remember anything. I look around in this uncertain journey  Surprisingly, nobody else seemed to be bothered by unfamiliarity like I am. Is it always going to be so uncertain? I don't know..  I just walk on,  looking for some familiarity to hold on to.

  Today (December 3) is International Day of Persons With Disabilities. Every year, I make it a point to post something in my blog to create awareness. But every year I encounter a question – what new things can I tell the world about my disability? A lack of clarity makes me fear that I may be giving you the same information year after year. We need wheelchair friendly infrastructure in cities, inclusive educational institutions are required and more job opportunities for the disabled are a must. We know this.   All this is about what can be done for me. For a change, I thought I must write about what I can do for myself. Even after the government, doctors, teachers, family, friends and God have done their part, complete benefit is possible only when I start taking care of myself. Saying Yes To Professional Help I used the term professional help because it means different things for people with different kind of disabilities. For some it could be speech therapy and for ...

  Welcome back people! I can’t believe it’s been an year since we last spoke of Cerebral Palsy. On October 6 th last year, we celebrated World CP Day and I spoke of what Cerebral Palsy is and what are the variations of the disability and how it is often judged as polio in me. Today, I thought we should shift focus from the problem and the gap in providing solutions to the attempts that have been made to bridge the gap. It is a lesson that a learnt from 2020 that I must appreciate things I have today instead of crying about the things I that want or could have had. I’m going to list out things as they come to my mind and if I miss something, please let me know in the comments section. These advantages may not be specific to CP, but they definitely make it a little easier to live with this disability.     I’m going to talk about my favorite thing first – I can go to the mall and the movies with my friends and family. Yay! I’m glad that I’m living at a time when most...

Loud and sudden sounds have always startled me. But I experienced something different today. For the first time, I was startled by the thought of the death of my friend. I heard the news few hours ago, but moments before I started writing this blog, I said it out loud to mom, and I startled mid sentence. 2020 has been startling me in more ways than I could ever imagine. It feels extremely weird to lose two friends within months. I don't know how to get used to this. None of these people were my best friends, but there's a feeling I can't push away. It startles me every now and then and stays until I find a distraction.  Just when I think its over now and 2020 is going to be amazing, I hear something horrible. As heartbreaking as it was, I said "okay fine" to losing a job. I knew things can get better. Some job is waiting for me. But with people going away I don't know what to think. Its not a feeling that'll go away with a chocolate. I'm trying...

It is a story of being stuck. A story of limited resources. A story where everything is as precious as gold and maybe gold is not as precious any more. With my disability I feel a little more confined than all of you. Maybe now you are getting a tad bit of a taste of my life. But it's not all that bad. I get to turn my attention to things I never had time for. I went back to my childhood through tv shows and coloring books to rediscover the joy. The lockdown made me appreciate things that I had taken for granted. Next time I step out I'll probably be happy that I have somewhere to go even if it just to the office. Traffic and crowds won't be an annoyance anymore. They'll be the normalcy that I've been craving for. The feeling of maddening isolation has made me connect more often to my loved ones than I otherwise did. I realized that we (at least I) have spent most of my time in isolation anyway, excluding the occasional parties of course :p We're probabl...