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Showing posts from May, 2020

The Lockdown Story

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It is a story of being stuck. A story of limited resources. A story where everything is as precious as gold and maybe gold is not as precious any more. With my disability I feel a little more confined than all of you. Maybe now you are getting a tad bit of a taste of my life. But it's not all that bad. I get to turn my attention to things I never had time for. I went back to my childhood through tv shows and coloring books to rediscover the joy. The lockdown made me appreciate things that I had taken for granted. Next time I step out I'll probably be happy that I have somewhere to go even if it just to the office. Traffic and crowds won't be an annoyance anymore. They'll be the normalcy that I've been craving for. The feeling of maddening isolation has made me connect more often to my loved ones than I otherwise did. I realized that we (at least I) have spent most of my time in isolation anyway, excluding the occasional parties of course :p We're probabl

Who was i?

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With more time in hand than I ever had, I let myself aimlessly daydream about who I used to be before I became who I am today. So, I went into the flashback and saw, with very little clarity, a younger me, who is shockingly different in her ideas, attitude and self image. She was braver, carefree, confident and, if I may say, prettier than me. Speaking of "pretty" she didn't even care about being what I believe she was. Surprised by the qualities, I tried to rediscover my younger self only to meet a completely different person. Someone I had forgotten. Someone who became silently nonexistent as my present self took over. The food that I liked, the faces that made me blush, the ideas of entertainment.. none of these seem to appeal to me anymore. The silliest things that I said with utmost confidence are now only a cause of embarrassment for me. Sometimes, when mum tells me about the things that I said or shows me a picture of a dress I wore, I'm shocked! Shocked beca