Startled!!!!

Loud and sudden sounds have always startled me. But I experienced something different today. For the first time, I was startled by the thought of the death of my friend. I heard the news few hours ago, but moments before I started writing this blog, I said it out loud to mom, and I startled mid sentence.
2020 has been startling me in more ways than I could ever imagine. It feels extremely weird to lose two friends within months.
I don't know how to get used to this. None of these people were my best friends, but there's a feeling I

can't push away. It startles me every now and then and stays until I find a distraction.  Just when I think its over now and 2020 is going to be amazing, I hear something horrible.
As heartbreaking as it was, I said "okay fine" to losing a job. I knew things can get better. Some job is waiting for me. But with people going away I don't know what to think. Its not a feeling that'll go away with a chocolate. I'm trying to count my blessings, but please tell me that it's going to be okay ☹️
 

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