I'm Grateful For My Disability - Part 2

I am so glad I kept my Yahoo mail active. I usually use it as a backup to send those files/information that I want to delete from my phone and other email accounts. Few minutes ago, I was casually looking at my old emails flooding my inbox and I found an incredibly positive description of my disability.  I don't remember writing this at all. It is very similar to my recent blog post so I decided to call it part 2. 

I hope it brings you as much joy as it brought me.

July 25, 2020

 I'm starting to realize that disability has never been the bad guy in my life. Somehow, it didn't bother me as child, but it won't let me be at peace as an adult. What's changed? Perhaps my expectations of myself  after I understood the real world. When I fail to meet my new expectations and those of others, I feel trapped in an unsolvable chaos.

As a kid I  never felt like I'm troubling someone while they took care of me. Now, it bothers me a lot to ask people to do anything more than stuff that's absolutely necessary (I still end up make unreasonable demands sometimes though 😜).
Like someone said, ignorance is bliss. At least in my case, ignorance of the severity and its permanence was a bliss.  It's not always a good thing, okay? Being ignorant can be embarrassing or even dangerous sometimes. I definitely don't want to give out the wrong message while expression myself 😂.




Coming back to disability not being the bad guy - I'd say it is in fact the hero of my story. My disability gives me some advantages over normal people. For example, I don't have to wait in queue to collect my things from a counter and the person helping me also gets the advantage (yes, the world is lucky to have me), I can choose my seat after boarding a flight and have it's occupant move to an uncomfortable one with a smile on his face (I don't even have to be guilty for this 😂). Now, I know you can enjoy this privilege as a pregnant traveler too, but how long will your privilege last? Mine's forever! 😜 I will always get compliments no matter how I dress and finally my family is not worried about my wedding when I turn 22. Bonus - Mom said I should be in a live-in relationship if I find someone. Tell me, in what sense is disability a disadvantage?

True, I can't move around, I depend on people more than I'd like to, there are places I can't go to, people don't trust my capability to get simple things done, (I think that comes less from actual mistrust in my abilities and more from conditioning and over protectiveness. I'm sure nobody means evil) and the chances of someone falling in love with me (romantically) are probably as slim as a single strand of hair. But hey! So what? I'll still look at the brighter side of life and make best of things I can't change!

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